Relationships Are Insurance Against Loneliness

The world is going through a loneliness crisis (if you label it as “the male loneliness epidemic” you’re either stupid, a misogynist, or most probably both). It also seems to happen more often among young people. Hurray to being young, I guess.

Especially in this context, being part of a romantic relationship is a hedge against feelings of loneliness.

Especially in this context, I seem to not be particularly good at hedging.

I was betting on surrounding myself with friendships. An oversight on my part was the fact that all the people that I surround myself with, may prioritize directing their time at either their existing romantic relationship, or trying to start a romantic relationship.

Thus, I’m left selfishly yearning for their company. Or just someone’s company, to be honest.

A couple of weeks ago, a random man sat next to me on the bus. He started telling me about his declining health, his drinking problem, and his son who he barely sees anymore. I was uncomfortable, so I just nodded in agreement until he got off a couple of stops later.

While I do not agree with what he did, nor with the type of life he seems to lead, I do feel like we’re alike in certain regards. I, too, feel the need to share my feelings with someone. I, too, have few if any people who I feel safe enough to talk to about this kind of stuff. I hope that random man is at least not feeling lonely at this time.

I am happy for my friends. I really am. I do understand them. If I were in their position, I’d probably do the same. But I still feel this selfish entitlement towards their company.

I consider myself quite the hopeful person. But in this context, at this particular time, hope seems difficult to come by.

It is fine thoooo!! These feelings will passsss. I’ll feel better in a couple of days. Just wanted to organize the thoughts in my head, so I threw them in here.